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The self we are trying to fix doesn't exist.

Updated: Mar 6, 2023

This post is for all you self-help addicts out there….

This sort of quote used to confuse the hell out of me! And yet some years later here I am saying it.

It used to look very real to me that who I am is a certain type of person. And because there were parts of myself I didn’t like, I spent many years in the self-help world trying to fix, change and improve myself. Maybe you have too?

Since coming across a new paradigm of how the human experience is created, I have seen that who I am, who we all are, isn’t a fixed ‘thing’. It isn’t a ‘thing’ at all. Who we believe ourselves to be is merely a collection of thoughts, beliefs and conditioning we have innocently picked up along the way. And these thoughts and beliefs are subject to change all the time, depending on our mood, or what thoughts we are experiencing on any given day.

I saw that my sense of self was subject to massive, quick shifts which were polar opposite in nature (e.g. I am bad mum, a good mum; I am always too busy, I feel peaceful; I am anxious, I am OK). Once I saw that it was purely my thinking about myself that created my sense of self, and that this was open to fluctuations, I saw that none of it could be true. That my true self wasn’t what I believed about myself. My true self is before all the thought I experience about myself.

My true self is innately well, whole and loving. Trying to fix that which is changing and impermanent (my thoughts and beliefs about myself) just doesn’t make sense to me anymore. Looking towards that which doesn’t change, and is permanent, now seems the most common sense, and liberating thing to do. Paradoxically, this allows us to embrace all it means to be human, to be OK with the human-ness of our experience.

If you would like to explore how this understanding could help you get off the self-help-must-work-on-myself roller coaster, please do get in touch. Either ask me a question here, or email me to set up a free, no-obligation call. I am here to help you find your freedom! xx





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