If you are someone who has spent years working on yourself, reading numerous books, always got a course on the go, trying all the techniques, there can be a subtle thought running underneath all of it. Something like: there is something wrong with me that I need to fix. It kind of makes sense. You have tried so many things and none of them have quite stuck, so the mind decides the problem must be you. Something deeper, harder to reach, something that makes you the exception.

You feel anxious, and straight away the questionning begins. What is this trying to tell me? What's wrong? What have I missed? Here's what I've come to see, after years of this in my own head and with the women I work with. That feeling is telling you something. It's just almost never the thing you think it is. The assumption that makes it worse When a difficult feeling arrives, most of us treat it as a report or a prediction. A read-out on how life is going, or on the kind o

How to Trust Your Intuition video by Lindsey Elliott If you’ve started to see the voice in your head for what it is — a conditioned, critical pattern, not the truth about you — there’s a question that almost always follows. And until it’s answered, the rest doesn’t fully make sense. The question is this: if I’m not meant to listen to that voice, if I’m meant to take my hands off the wheel, then who on earth is driving? It’s a fair question. Because that voice — I call her Sue

Video by Lindsey Elliott Coaching Why You Edit Yourself There’s a particular tiredness that comes from managing how you’re seen. You soften an opinion so you don’t offend someone. You reread a message four times, checking it doesn’t come across wrong. You laugh at something you didn’t find funny. You say “it’s fine” when it isn’t. You leave a perfectly good conversation and immediately wonder what they really thought of you. From the outside you look confident and capable. Pe

The mechanical reason your mind loops — and how to interrupt it without a complex technique. You speak up in a meeting, share your perspective, and the meeting ends. Outwardly you move on. But internally, the mental review begins, and for the next twelve hours your mind replays the conversation on a loop. Why did I say it like that? Did I sound silly? What did they think when I paused? Or maybe it’s a decision. A boundary to set, a holiday to book, a change in your business.

Why You Can't Switch Off video by Lindsey Elliott There’s a particular tiredness that many capable women carry without ever recognising it. It isn’t about workload. It’s the feeling of never quite being able to put anything down. You triple-check the email before you send it. You over-prepare for the meeting that didn’t really need it. You say yes when you meant no, because letting someone down feels somehow dangerous. You lie awake dreading a conversation that, deep down, yo

Video by lindsey Elliott about the voice in your head. You have a good life. You’re clever and capable, and you’re the one other people lean on. From the outside you look calm and grounded, the person who has it all together. And yet, on the inside, your mind never quite switches off. Most people in your life would be surprised to know how much time you spend in your own head. They see the competent version. What they don’t see is the fortune of energy you spend managing the

Video by Lindsey Elliott Coaching How To Stop Believing The Voice in Your Head If you’ve spent any time trying to deal with the voice in your head, sometimes referred to as the inner critic, you'll know it picks apart your decisions, replays conversations, and tells you you’re not handling things as well as you should. And you’ve probably tried a few of the usual approaches. Reframing what it says. Talking back to it. Being kinder to yourself. Picturing it as a small, angry c

There’s a voice in your head that you’ve been listening to for most of your life. Some people call it the inner critic. Some call it negative self-talk. Whatever you call it, you know the voice I mean. It tells you you said the wrong thing in that meeting. That you should have handled the conversation with your daughter better. That other women your age seem to have figured something out that you haven’t. And most of the time, you don’t think to question it. You just take wha

Lindsey Elliott coaching video: Stop Trying to Fix Yourself — why personal development can become its own trap and what changes when you stop treating yourself as a project. Watch the full video: Stop Trying to 'Fix' Yourself. What if the reason nothing has worked isn't because you haven't tried hard enough, but because you were never broken in the first place? You’ve tried the therapy, the journaling, the breathwork, the affirmations, the nervous system work, the meditation.

Video Lindsey Elliott title You Already Know We talk about delay as if it’s harmless. As if waiting is the sensible, measured, responsible thing to do. We tell ourselves “I’ll get to it,” or “I just need a bit more time,” or “when things settle down.” And it sounds reasonable. It sounds like a woman being thoughtful. But delay is not a pause. It’s a direction. Every month spent going around the same thoughts, you’re not standing still. You’re moving further into a version of

Many women believe they need to build more confidence. So they spend years working on themselves. Reading books. Taking courses. Trying to become a better, more secure version of who they are. But what if the real issue is not low self-esteem at all? What if the problem is simply believing the thoughts that say you are not enough? If your worth was never created by thought, it cannot actually be reduced by it either. In this podcast conversation with Becca Gardner on The Thou

Video: What If Your Brain Isn’t Broken? Understanding Anxiety and the Human Mind Many people who struggle with anxiety quietly believe there is something wrong with them. They think they are too sensitive. Too reactive. Too quick to panic. But what if your brain is not broken at all? What if it is simply running an older survival system that once helped humans stay alive? Thousands of years ago, the people who noticed danger first were the ones who kept the tribe safe. That s

Video: Why Your Mind Keeps Sending You Anxious Thoughts Most people know how social media algorithms work. Click on one video about anxiety, and suddenly your entire feed is full of them. Your mind is not that different. The more attention you give anxious thoughts, the more your mind assumes they are important. It keeps sending more of them your way. No wonder it can start to feel endless. But what most people have never been told is this: You do not have to engage with ever

Video: You Weren’t Born Anxious: Why Worry Isn’t Your Personality Most people who struggle with anxiety believe it is simply part of who they are. They describe themselves as someone who has always worried. Someone cautious. Someone whose mind never switches off. But if you look closely, something interesting appears. You were not born worrying about your job, your relationships, or your future. When we are young, the mind simply starts finding things to worry about. First it

Person covered in sticky notes If you’ve spent years trying to improve yourself, to feel more confident, less anxious, more “together”, you might have absorbed the idea that something in you needs fixing. I used to believe that too. Many of the women I work with are competent, capable and thoughtful. On the surface, they are functioning well. But internally, there is a constant sense of evaluation. Am I doing enough? Am I too much? Did I say the wrong thing? Over time, that i

Triggered by anxiety? Here’s why that’s not a setback We’ve been taught that if something triggers us, if a wave of anxiety hits out of nowhere, it means we’re not coping well. That we’re stuck. That there’s something wrong with us. But that’s not what’s happening. In this video, I share a personal story about something traumatic that happened when one of my dogs was hit by a car (he survived, don’t worry). What followed — the anxiety, the flashbacks, the fear of repeating th

I recently watched the Victoria Beckham documentary, and one moment at the end really struck me because it captures the heart of what I help people see in my work. In the final scene, David asks Victoria why she still feels she has something to prove, and he suggests that maybe she’s trying to prove to herself that she’s good enough. It’s such a powerful reflection of what so many of us do — chasing success, approval, or achievement in the hope that one day we’ll finally fee

Some problems in life are real and practical — things like finding a new job, ending a relationship, or saving money for a holiday. You’ll know when those are solved because there’s a clear outcome. But many of the things we call “problems” aren’t actually problems at all — they’re thoughts about ourselves, our worth, or what other people think. And those can’t be fixed by more thinking, because they only exist in thought. In this short video, I share two simple questions tha

We’re often told that the way to solve a problem is to think about it — harder, longer, and deeper. But what if that’s actually the thing keeping you stuck? In this short video, I share a simple metaphor that might completely change the way you see overthinking, and help you find clarity when your mind feels full and noisy. 🎥 Watch now to see why thinking less can bring the answers you’ve been looking for. Please sign up to my mailing list to receive new videos as they are