When Shame Isn’t What It Seems: A New Way to See Old Habits

We all have moments when we do something we don’t like — maybe we snap, defend ourselves, or act in a way that feels out of line with who we want to be.

Then the shame hits. We promise ourselves that next time we’ll be calmer, kinder, more in control… and yet the same pattern plays out again.

In this week’s video, I respond to a listener’s question about this exact experience — a habitual reaction that feels impossible to stop and leaves her feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

What if the real issue isn’t the behaviour itself, but the meaning we attach to it afterwards?

What if the feeling of shame isn’t proof that something is wrong with us — but a signal trying to wake us up from the story our mind is spinning?

When we can see that shame is pointing us back to the truth — that we’re already whole, already okay — it begins to lose its power. The behaviour may still show up for a while, but the inner battle softens.

You can watch the full video above, where I explore:

• Why some behaviours feel beyond our control

• The real role of shame (and why it’s not your enemy)

• How self-judgment keeps old patterns in place

• The shift that begins true change

🎥 Watch now

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If you are ready for freedom from shame and habitual behaviours, work with me 1:1 in my coaching programme Enough: The End of Working on Yourself to help you finally get there.