It is completely OK to be disappointed.
It is completely OK to have expectations about life, others, your circumstances.
And it is really useful to see how all of this is created and where suffering comes from.
The experience of having an expectation about something, or someone, is created through us, via our thought in the moment. And the disappointment that may come if that expectation isn’t met, also comes to us via our thought in the moment. The suffering comes when they don’t meet our expectations AND we innocently believe that our thought in the moment is ‘more right’ than someone else’s thought in the moment. Or that life ‘should’ be a certain way.
Our expectations aren’t real in the sense that they are absolute Truth. For example, if I expect it not to rain on my wedding day and it does, I will feel disappointed and that life isn’t fair. Or if I expect that my husband will take out the rubbish and he doesn’t, I may feel frustrated or annoyed. Expectations are thought created preferences that we take to be real.
It’s not about denying or rationalising those feelings of disappointment when things don’t go our way. We can feel them and allow them to pass on. However, Seeing our expectations as thought in the moment (bringing a feeling with it), rather than as something real, solid or true, brings far more freedom.
Nothing in life is certain or fixed. And our thought in the moment creates the reality we get to live in. Luckily for us, thought is fluid and ever-changing, and when we can accept what is, rather than our (made up) preference for what we would like, there is less suffering and more peace.
Lindsey Elliott is a Wellbeing & Resilience Coach, energy healer and meditation teacher working in Brighton and online. She offers one to one coaching in a life-changing paradigm of understanding about how the human experience is created. With this understanding you can move from feeling insecure, stressed, anxious or unfulfilled to happy, secure, inspired, peaceful and filled with love.
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